


I can't trust you

by Lunaii



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Black Romance, Burns, Cheating, Cigarettes, Consensual Violence, M/M, RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 16:56:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6915514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunaii/pseuds/Lunaii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story for my friend, who i totally failed but i'm glad you wanted a story from me anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I can't trust you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MoulinRogue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoulinRogue/gifts).



Seungri.

The person he loved so much, the person who made his dark life lighten up, the person who mattered the most to him than any other person was currently on the news for being seen with a girl in his hotelroom after a concert in Japan.

He felt like he couldn't breahte, like everything around him was suddenly spinning out of control and his whole world was about to shatter at any moment. 

This couldn't be true, right?

Seungri, his Seungri that was the love of his life, his rock, his everything was fucking cheating on him when he was in Japan and himself was left alone in Korea.

He was vulnerable and Seungri knew that so well.

Sadness turns to anger and Jiyong throws the nearest thing into the wall, which happens to be a glasscup and it shatters to a hundred pices, just like his heart.

He looks up while taking his hands slowly through his hair and slightly pulling at it, enough to hurt his sensitive scalp.

He screams out his fusturation before his voice gets sore and he wants to rip his vocal chords out of his throat before his ringtone gets him out of those dark throughts.

He slowly walks over to the sofa and sits down before grabbing his phone off the table and his heart stops when he reads the name who's ligthing up his screen.

SenSen <3

He wanted to slide his thumbs over the screen so badly. He wanted everything to go back to normal. He wanted Seungri here with him and not in Japan with this girl who he trought he could replace Jiyong with.

He wishes.

He throws the phone onto the table before lying down on the sofa with his legs streetched and takes his beanie over his face, this was enough for the day.

-

After he's woken up the next morning, the first thing he does it go to the web article about Seungri in Japan to see if it's still there or if it was luckily just a nightmare and to his horror, it's still there.

He sighs before looking at his phone, only to see about 100 missed calls and probably more than 50 messages from Seungri.

He bites his cheek before deciding to read some of them.

SenSen - Jiyong, if you have seen the news article about me. It's not what it looks like. That girl was a fan that found me in the hotel and paparazzi followed her.  
SenSen- I promise you that i diden't sleep with her, you know i love you to bits and pices  
SenSen - Baby, please answer me.  
SenSen - I beg you, call me back  
SenSen - Please.

He could go on forever with reading his messages but it hurt so badly. 

He was confused. Was he being cheated on or was it in fact a just a fan?

In the picture in the article, you clearly saw her stepping outside of his room like she had been inside and was walking outside wihout any force.

Oh, how he wants to murder that girl right now... and Seungri.

-  
He's sitting in the sofa, trying to gather his throughts when he hears somebody on the other side of the door placing a key in the keyhole. 

As if there were only one other person than himself who had the key to their place, his heart started to beat faster by the second before the door swong open and a tired looking Seungri walks in before spotting him looking at him from the sofa.

''Jiyong, omg you're here'' He says before walking over to him.

Jiyong looks at him with an expressionless look before getting up from the sofa.

''I don't want to talk to you right now'' I might destroy the both of us with the sadness and madness i'm feeling.

He starts walking away to their bedroom before he feels a cold hand grab his wrist.

''Ji, please just listen to me. I've tried calling and texting you for the last two days and you haven't answered me'' 

''Maybe that's because i don't want to talk to you'' he says back harsly before looking at Seungri's teary and tired eyes. 

''I don't even want to see your face right now so please, let me be alone'' He hisses at him before taking his wrist away from his grip and walks into their bedroom before locking himself inside. 

-  
It's been three days since the article came out and one day since Seungri came home.

They haven't talked proberly since he left for Japan two weeks ago and he wanted it to stay like that, he was to angry for any taking right now.

But he haven't eaten since yesterday's breakfast and he was hungry to the point of feeling starved.

He slowly gets up from his bed and rubs the sleep out of his eyes before getting up and walking to the door.

He opens the door slowly before looking trought the crack.

The coast is clear.

He tip toes out of the room before walking to the kitchen and he glimps at the sofa before realizing, it's empty.

Before he can return to his room, a strong hand pushes him into the wall and a gasp escapes his lips at the sudden action before he ses Seungri looking at him with a irritated stare.

Seungri had never been mad at him before and now, pushing him harsly in the wall and looking at him like he was the one that cheated instead of him, he felt confused.

He tries to say something but he instanly feels a hand over his mouth.

''Since you won't fucking talk to me, i guess this will have to do'' He says while Jiyong only can stare back at him.

Seungri looks at his face before taking a shaky breath.

''Listen, in Japan, the things that was written about me in that article was 100% false'' He starts before taking another breath.

''That girl who I was apparently cheating on you with, was a fan, a sixteen year old fan that followed me back to my hotel and knocked on my door, saying she was the cleaner and I stupidly opened the door to her before she ran into my arms.'' He tells him while looking down at their feet. 

''I didn't think much of the incident before I woke up the next day and saw articles and photos of the girl leaving my room and me standing by the door and it looked wrong. I instantly called you, i tried so hard to reach you but you only ignored me and i felt like my whole world was gonna shatter at any moment'' Senguri says and he looks up from the floor and right at him. That was exacly what he had thinked when he saw the article. 

They look at each other for some seconds before Seungri slowly takes his hand off his mouth.

''Well?'' He asks hopingly, waiting for Jiyong's respond.

''Sooo.. you didn't cheat? She was only a fan that found your hotellroom?'' He asks and Seungri slowly nod with a small smile on his lips.

''Just a fan, yes. You know I would never cheat on you'' he says before stroking Jiyongs cheek softly.

''Apparently not'' He whispers before they both kiss eachother which was much needed, indeed.

-

Jiyong was alone again. 

Seungri had to meet his boss for some drinks at a local bar and he couldn't stop himself with being extremly nervous and scared.

Scared of Seungri cheating ''again''. Scared of Seungri drinking too much and doing something that he would maybe not regret later on.

Scared of losing Seungri to some other guy that acctually was worth his words and actions, someone who deserved his love.

Instead of sitting around and watching the clock go by each second at a time, he decides to take out a vodka bottle that he had saved for a fun night and desiced to use it now, even thought his night was as far away from fun as it could be.

One shot.

Two shots.

Five shots.

Seven shots.

He stands up and wobbles over to his pack of Marlboro cigarettes before taking out one and lightning it up.

When he ses the fire from the lighter, his anger suddenly comes out from nowhere and it's pointed towards Seungri.

Anger for Seungri for being famous and making him believe that he acctually cheated on him.

Anger for himself for letting himself believe the words that came out of his mouth.

The 'I love you's' was all a lie, the 'i need you right now' and the 'i will never leave you', all lies.

But this was the alcohol talking and it kept talking when Seungri came home from the bar, unluckely almost sober.

''I'm back'' he says and Jiyong only looks at him with anger before he gets up from his seat in the sofa.

''What have you been doing?'' He asks with a smile before he ses Jiyong's expression.

The way he's pinned him to the wall with his look, the way he held his cigaret inbetween his two fingers, the way he walked to him. He knew right there, he was fucked.

''Ji--'' Before he could say anything to calm his sudden rage against him, he was being pushed towards the sofa and landed with his back on top of it before Jiyong puts his two legs between him and sits on his stomach.

He was always light as a feather but right now he could weight a ton.

''Ji, what are you doing?'' He asks him while staring at his face hovering over him before his lips makes a smile but his eyes was still burning with rage.

''Why did you cheat on me, Sen? Was I not enough for you? Is that it? Was I not pretty enough for the k-pop star, huh? Was i not wealthy enough for you? HUH?'' he yells at him and Seungri looks at him in shock.

A few weeks had passed since they made up after the misunderstanding between them and everything had been running like normal until now.

He didn't understand where this sudden outburst came from before he smells his breath against his and it smells like a straight up vodka bottle. He was drunk out of his mind.

''Babe, I told you i didn't cheat on you. I would never do that'' He says trying to calm him down but he only gets more tense.

''Then why am i nervous out of my mind, on the verge of a panic attack everytime you leave the house without me, afraid you will do something? Why do I close my eyes at night and instead of seeing us to laughing and being happy, i see you and that girl fucking and you calling her names you wouldn't even call me. Why do I have to suffer for your fuck up?'' He asks now desperate while grabbing his shirt for answers.

Seungri just lies there under his touch. He didn't know that he was still thinking that he had cheated, that he was nervous evertime he went out. He felt awful for doing that to him without even noticing.

''How can i prove to you that i didn't and would never cheat on you?'' He asks the boy on top of him desperate before his lover starts thinking over his question. 

Jiyong suddenly looks at the cigaret he had ligthen up earlier and a brilliant (and drunk) idea strikes him and all the anger from earlier deepens. 

''You know, what?'' He asks with a smile before grabbing the cigraette and lightens it up with his lighter before taking a puff.

''I think i know how i could trust you again'' He says before looking down at Seungri under him who's looking at him with a confused look.

''How? I will do anything just please tell me how, babe'' 

Jiyong smiles at him before he takes the ciggaret up from the side of the sofa and brings it up to both their view.

''W-what has that to do with us?'' He asks him still confused before he feels a hand go under his shirt.

''Ji, what--'' he stops when the shirt is ripped off him with full force and is now lying on the floor with his chets and stomach exposed to him.

Jiyong smiles at him before taking the ciggaret to their faces again.

''What if, per say, if you had a mark on your body that only i knew about so, if it comes up more stories about you cheating, then I can ask them what you have on, let say, your rib cage--'' He says before softly taking his finger over Seungri's ribs and a shiver runs through his spine.

''--then i could trust you'' He finishes before looking at him with a little smile while Seungri looks at him in disbelieve.

''You can't be serious?'' He says to him while waiting for him to burst into laughter, but he doesn't.

He is as serious as he could be.

''If you don't want to then i can just leave'' He says before getting up from the sofa. 

Suddenly a strong pull on his arm pulls him down on top of Seungri again.

''N-no, don't go. I'll do it, if that would make you less concerned about me then i'll do it'' Seungri says with defeat in his voice.

If it's between losing Jiyong for good or be in pain for some seconds to make him feel better, he would gladly take the pain any day.

Jiyong smiles a drunken smile at him before he is a few inches away from his skin before Seungri grabs his wrist.

He looks at him confused and his head is now spinning.

''W-wait, babe'' He says while looking at him.

''What, you're backing out?'' He asks while looking at him with a sad expression.

''N-no, but can you do it somewhere where it's not easily visible?'' He asks and Jiyong agrees.

He is a k-pop star who lives for his body after all, it was an legit argument.

"I think i know the perfekt spot" Jiyong says and Seungri looks at him in anticipation before a cold hand goes into his sweats and underwear and before Senguri can protest, his skin, his sensitive skin on his left hip is exposed.

"Ok?" Jiyong asks him while looking at his exposed hip.

Senguri wants to stop him but he knows he can't, he can't let go of Jiyong. He needs him.

He let's out a shaky breath before he silently nods for him to continue.

Jiyong takes the cigarette to the front of his hip and Seungri closes his eyes shut before he let's out a scream of pure pain.

He feel Jiyong pushing it harshly into his skin and he swirls around in pain.

A hand on his neck has to come into motion to keep him still but he still moves around to try to ease the pain but it's too much for his sensitive body to handle.

He passes out right underneath Jiyong's touch.

Jiyong smiles a smile of pure happiness while stroking the beautiful red mark on his lover's body.

"Perfect"


End file.
